A Diagnosis Doesn't Say Much About You

He's having just normal stomach pain. Take these pills.

He might have stomach cancer!

He has Crohn's disease.

Those were 3 different doctors putting those very different diagnoses 11 years ago.

At that time, being a teenager, what could I understand? That I'm sick and I need pills. No discussions about how my overall life was going on.

I resonate very much with Gabor Maté, and he refers often to doctors not asking their patients about their diet, stress, emotional balance and physical activity. They are just throwing a diagnostic without changing the patient's lifestyle.

If someone asked me at that time what's been going on in my life in the last year, I would have said:

I finished high-school and I'm scared because I have no clue where my future goes
I'm drinking excessively to suppress my "bad luck" in love
My feelings and emotional system are frozen, and I suffer from not being able to go over the breakup
I'm desperately smoking to calm down my frustrations
The hatred and anger were my daily emotions
My diet was binge eating any junk food, terrible

That's kind of.. pretty.. much for a young adult just finishing high-school. How much time do you expect the body to avoid all these shots I fired? Well, close to one year.

As Gabor's book's title "When the body says NO" says, this is what happened to me as well. My body decided it cannot endure any more suffering from me.

Taking pills or any treatment will never be enough if you don't know the root cause. Usually, it's an emotional problem to be solved.

In the first year of living with Crohn, an auto-immune disease, I cleaned out 95% of my diet, quit smoking and drastically reduced the alcohol intake. Why? Because this was what my doctor said will help the treatment be more efficient.

Surprise, surprise, after one and a half year, my body developed antibodies to anti-treatment. With all that clean lifestyle I created. It was a big shot for me, as I've lost hope that smoking and drinking have anything to do with my disease.

So I tried them again to prove it wrong. For the next half of year, I smoked and drinked again, but this time reasonably. Could you guess what happened?

Instead of proving them wrong, I proved myself wrong. Crohn's inflammation was growing and had already affected my body. And because it couldn't be enough, that treatment was the only one in Romania at that time, which no longer worked for me.

Unless they are healthy and the last option, never try other things for your own health. They will never pay back.

Of course I started to freak out, since I had already seen death once.

My incredible luck was that the doctor recommended a scientist specilised in my disease, who introduced me to a clinical study. I was the first patient in Romania joining that study, which was already in the second phase, so there were minor risks. That treatment worked amazing for me, and rapidly put me back on track.

This time, I did something different. I understood that there should be something more beyond having a clean and healthy lifestyle and has nothing to do with my diagnosis.

When you did all the rational things but it still doesn't work, it's gonna be a spiritual resolution.

Reading about emotional dissonance, past traumas and non-existent authenticity, I understood this is the area in my life that I never addressed, and was still bringing much stress in my life, despite my clean lifestyle.

Slowly, I dove into meditation and specialized therapy, learning how to let go of my past in a peaceful manner. Next was to learn how to accept the present as it, without being affected by what others would say or think about me.

Basically, I finally made peace with myself. The most shaking feeling I could experience.

What's the link with the disease? Hold tight. Last year I did a very detailed check to see the current state of the disease, including a colonoscopy, so they could examine the intestine for any traces of cancer or complications.

The astonishing result: not only that I was perfectly healthy, but the inflammation formed inside the intestine reduced in size dramatically! Something that never happens.

Usually, doctors prevent that inflammation to become big to avoid a blockage of the intestine. Otherwise, they'll be forced to cut that part, but since it's auto-immunce, it can reappear anytime.

This is what I call freedom: aligning rationality with spirituality.

Extending to labels

How many times did you say about you that:

I'm too stupid to dream that big
I'm just lazy
I just cannot focus
I cannot be that disciplined

If you treat those labels as diagnoses, as in my case, they don't say enough to give you leverage to take action towards it. What usually happens, you take that label for granted, becoming complacent.

You have to go beyond that behaviour to find out what are the reasons making you act that way. Since you need to be your observator, this process isn't going to be easy at all.

I prefer talking from my own experience, so let's see what were the reasons behind my past addictions and labels:

Smoking - it kept me part of the entourage (a bad one)

Drinking - suppressed my emotional pain caused by the breakup

Junk food - gave me quick dopamine to compensate the feeling of worthless

I can't be a developer - based on the fact I've got 5 on the final exam in high-school, I've lost trust in myself

Buying expensive stuff - to satisfy the ego as I'd be better looking than people around me

I can't make money easy - based on what I've seen in my family, working 12-14 hours a day didn't mean much at all

A movie-like relationship doesn't exist - everywhere I looked, there were compromises, cheating, fights or shortcomings

Fortunately, in the last few years I managed to prove every single addiction or label wrong. I am now living the life exactly how I imagined: healthy, peaceful, with empathy and compassion driving my interactions with others, and sharing the beauty of life with an amazing woman as I've seen in the movies.

Never let the majority dictate your perception of life. They live their way, you should live yours.

What did I do?

Analyzing every root problem of every single addiction or mental blockage, I became aware how deeply controlled I was. My life was simply navigated by the society which was exploiting my emotional system that nobody taught me about: the fear of missing out and the fear of being excluded.

You deserve the best. All of us deserve that. Yet, the majority doesn't feel the joy of freedom because they are still driven by society. You need to be exceptional in every single way.

Being exceptional means to be an exception by definition. If people are driven by society, be an exception by driving your life yourself.

The rule of thumb? Understand the difference between feeling inspired and triggered by others.

If you like something on social media, like a holiday, a smartwatch, a nice car and you feel to treat yourself in a similar manner, but not necessarily the exact same thing, you're good to go, you're inspired.

On the other hand, if you saw an Instagram reel with your friend in Japan and start blaming her, yourself or your partner for no having the same, you're off track, as you've been triggered. That's an emotional reaction, the base of today's society.

You deserve the best. Everything you see, question yourself if it aligns with your needs and beliefs.

Letter's Quest

This time, I would like to encourage you to go beyond one "diagnosys" that limits your daily life.

It can be an addiction, a label, a limiting belief, a mental blockage, anything that comes up to you.

Good, I need you to take it into a meditation to profoundly work through it. Visualize these things in this sequence:

Become aware of it, don't run away from it, as right now, it's part of you
Go back in time and see how did it appear into your life
At a slow pace, try to bring up what emotions are filled when you're doing it
Stay with those emotions, and let them speak
Thank them for being cooperative with you

Those emotions are the key to heal that addiction. You need to address them in a profound and intimate way.

Remember, every emotion or feeling should be satisfied within your inner self, not by the exterior as it is now. Think about anything you can do, think or say to you that will give you the same feelings.

Until the next letter, I wish you success in everything you're up to!