Are You Aligned With Yourself?

I think the most blockages we face cannot be solved in the physical reality.

Around 2.5 years ago I started to explore my spiritual part.

To make it clear, do not confuse spirituality with religion or faith.

Each of them has its own principles. Depending on your understanding and acceptance of them, they can create you a broader perspective of the world.

We already discussed in the previous letter, that the more robust we are in our vision, the more limited and restricted our reality will be.

By spirituality I mean the connection between you and your higher-self. Those moments which are free of ego, narcissism and perfectionism, where you can deeply connect with your inner self and explore things such as:

Who you are
Who do you want to become
What do you want to change or quit
What brings you joy
What fulfills you

Don't be afraid to experiment things you're interesed in. There are just 2 options and a single result:

You either discover another thing that brings more joy into your life.
Move on with the experience that that thing is not yet for you.

Try to avoid 'never' and 'always', to allow space for adaptation.

Maybe you'll resonate with some of these 4 experiences I went through.

(1) I want to find a woman who's confident, intelligent, wants more from herself, is into fitness and has healthy habits.

There's nothing wrong in wanting a specific type of person. But what about me? Have I had the characteristics to attract such a woman? Not even close.

I neither saw it, nor accepted it. I blamed others having that kind of partner. I either saw them lucky, or assumed they just have tons of money.

All this, until the moment I started my path towards discovering and accepting my inner self. Day in and day out I was shocked to hear dozens of flaws and lies I was telling myself.

Only then I could understand I wasn't the person to attract the woman I wanted.

After several weeks, I was left with a clear vision: I need to change, learn, and practise new habits to become the man I wanted.

(2) I tought I deserved a more quality environment.

You've may already heard to be careful what persons do you surround yourself with. This extends to the environment, job and habits as well.

Say you're friends with someone you don't like anymore. Try to gently increase the distance between and see what happens. Is it a feeling of winning or losing?

Or, think about a relationship, when, after a few years, you drop the quality and involvement offered. Why to expect that person to remain? She has chosen you because of who you were at the beginning and for your potential to grow.

In my opinion, the unconditional love is a self thing. Because you're the only one on this planet who you cannot give up on until the moment you die. You can't avoid speaking, feeling or observing yourself.

At most, you can temporarily suppress reality through drugs and alcohol, but not your inner self. It is still there, taking your shots.

The only person holding your back the whole life, is yourself.

The others, such as your loved one or friends, can become a negative energy for you, and in most cases unintentionally. The reason is simple: your paths don't match anymore.

What about parents? They are no different. Abusive, alcoholic, and those who abandon their family are just a few examples.

The reason for their behaviour is because they suffered at least the same pain they're spreading around. They are not in their self-control, but traumas, frustrations and ego are.

The same goes the other way. You are not an exception either, so you can become a negative person in their lives for so many reasons. Hopefully, they'll start telling you at first. But if nothing happens, they'll avoid you.

(3) I complained about money, but have I had the skills to get me more money?

I wasn't attracted to school by any means and didn't know how to make money either. Back then, it was a shame to sell, as 'good people' earned money through any other job.

Once I got my degree, I was still earning little compared to what society made me expect.

To earn more, I went for programming courses. Although they've got me further, the inflation had such a fast pace that I couldn't feel I earned enough.

My mindset left me with nothing but to blame the society, economy, everything and anyone but me.

If you say you deserve more than you have, think again. It is just your ego, overestimating yourself.

For example, in the beginning of my self-discovery journey, I found out that my ego was the one telling me I was doing more than I deserved.

Working through it, I managed to stop thinking about how "others complicate my life", and focus on how can I take control over it.

PS: I later realised it wasn't the money I was craving for, but the feeling of confidence and respect which I thought money will solve.

(4) I read, watch educational videos, attend workshops, but nothing happens.

A lot of people who escape procrastination get into the information rabbit hole trap.

They don't stop learning, pretending they are becoming the person they want.

You know a lot, but what does that help you with?

I've gone through that myself and turned out as a wrong way. Because I wasn't applying while learning, I was lead to nothing but stress and frustration.

Why? Because even though I had changed some habits, I couldn't feel the progress. Nobody in my circle wanted to discuss or debate those subjects. And neither did I had a project where I could apply those learnings. On top of this, I was also forgetting most of what I learned.

Don't learn things that you cannot immediately apply. School has already taught you the outcome of that.

Observe your inside needs

These 3 things have helped me to dive deep into my inner self:

Meditation - to observe every thought that disrupts me
Journaling - to make a plan towards that thought
Self-acceptance - to accept I may not be able to immediately overcome it, but I'm working through it already

Doing them over and over again, I noticed in my words and thoughts that my ego got dramatically minimised. How did I know it? I started to use 'me' way more frequent than 'he, she or they'.

Hold on, not in a narcissistic, but a constructive and actionable way:

I read 30 minutes a day to improve my speaking
I am training 6 days a week in the gym to build muscles
I learn how to build my product
To get more time, I do meal prepping twice a week

Notice the avoidance of I will. I've set myself a trigger to get rid of future statements, as most of them got lost and forgotten anyways. I either do it now, or don't even speak about it.

Letter's quest

When was the last time you thanked yourself for the mistakes you did? Chances are high to be the first one.

You are the 15 year old version of yourself, writing a thank you letter for the person you are today.

Thank that person for everything he did. There are no limits, no judgements and nobody to see you. It is your honest and intimate moment.

Remember that it's not about good or bad. We usually want to change and improve a bunch of things in our life, so there are no reasons to be shy of it.

Negative aspects will come up as well. Don't avoid them, as they are also part of you. The past you is not the present you, but it has built it.

A necessary way to make peace with yourself is to accept both your past and your present.

Until the next letter, I wish you success in everything you're up to!