It's not the luck you're lacking.

70% of people on the Titanic died because of the fear of facing reality.

Most parents talk to their kids from their ego in contradictory discussions.

About 66% of us dislike the job, because of the fear of trying something new.

Think about anything you would love to do, eat, live,feel, see. The reasons those things are on your wishlist are really just two:

Your ego is so solid to ask for help that will again get you there
You're afraid to do new things that will get you there

The first step is to do the opposite of what the majority is doing: recognize and accept them. Rejecting these facts won't help, because it means you're perfectly fine, and have nothing to change. While in the meantime.. you're still dreaming of some experiences.

Your ego will always reject any comment on how you could get better.

When ego and fear partner up

It was my second year in a previous company. In the last year, I fully dedicated to learn programming and worked more hours to catch up with experienced colleagues.

From what I've seen in my family, you only have to do a good job, and your "boss" will take care of you. In my parents' case, "the boss" was the government, which never gave substantial raises and you almost never asked for them. So I unconsciously did the same.

The problem was when I started to have good results, but the "boss" never came to say "hey, here's your money for your efforts so far". On the other side, one of my best friends juggled between jobs the whole time and put himself in a position where he earned an enormous amount of money.

He repeatedly encouraged me to ask for a raise, but the fear of getting a "you're fired" as a response was huge. Because I didn't want to look like a scared chicken, the ego kicked in and said: no, I won't ask for a raise because I want him to come and treat me the way I deserve.

A few months later, fueled by frustrations and stress, I finally took the courage to talk with the director and explain my concerns. After just 5 minutes of sweating, face turning red due to high body temperature caused by nervousness, I had a quick answer: I got a more than double raise!

The more you avoid an uncomfortable situation, the more you're going to pay for it later.

Luck is made of opportunities

Lottery concept is common worldwide. Basically, the more tickets you buy, the closer you are to winning the money.

Now think about how Social Media works. The more you scroll, the more chances you have to hit an extremely good post.

Although both prizes have the potential to dramatically change your life, the way towards the prize had already changed your life. You're a player in a rat race and instead of developing yourself to get what you want, you're relying on an external factor to bring it to you in an easy way.

Look at the majority of people who won the lottery: after a few years, they end up in the same position as before winning. A recent example is a garbage man who started to work again in the garbage industry 2 years after winning the lottery.

Look at the majority of people who're viewing, listening of reading good materials: they are doing nothing with the information, their brain is wired to keep scrolling.

Being lucky without competence is like giving a knife to a baby. There are small chances not to get hurt.

There is another perspective of "opportunities". Those you have to struggle through, require effort, but once you build them up and also "hit the jackpot", you benefit from all of it, because you worked your way towards it and know how to keep your prize.

Say you're passionate about driving, but you're 15, and your uncle offered you a car as a gift. Your luck is your rich uncle, but it doesn't help much. You need to turn 18, to go through driving school, and then you can drive it.

Another person turned 18, and their parents could only afford to pay for his driving school. He now has a licence, and got a a job to gather enough money to buy a car himself.

The level of comfort is of course undisputable, but the same is the level of life appreciation. The second person is now prone to seek opportunities, find a way to get what he wants if there's nobody to offer him, and has the knowledge of how to keep everything he earned because he walked his way there.

If someone could boost your life, perfect! Just don't always rely on others for that.

Let's talk about fears

We cannot and should not avoid the feeling of fear. It's been our primary way to protect our life ever since. It's an integrated automatism passed from our ancestors which had to choose to fight or flight every time a danger came.

Nowadays, we are living completely different times, modern and safe, but nobody taught us how to deal with our unnecessary moments of fear. A fear is usually a trigger for an insecurity, which again, the odds are it's not a big deal.

In the past years, I succeeded to go through my every fear using 2 methods:

Analyze and find the trigger
Dive into it to the deepest fear

The first one is to prevent the same cause from being triggered again in the future. I can tell it's not an easy process, and especially in the beginning you'd rather choose someone to teach you how to search.

The second one is "more fun" to do, and you'll find a bunch of other small fears that compound.

Here's one of my recent examples, it happened when I was watching an interview with a wealth advisor:

The fear: I could lose all my money.

The trigger: My parents always said in my childhood "at least we have money to eat".

The fear dissected to the deepest:

I lost the way I'm making money
I lost my emergency funds
I cannot pay the rent
I'm on the streets, homeless
People don't help with me food and water anymore
I died

Most people are extremely afraid of talking about death, but they shouldn't. As we born, we die, it's a natural part of life which will be a surprise, like the first second on Earth was.

Back to my dive, what I've done was imagining the absolute worse, where I had no fiance, parents, friends, no other temporary job, nothing in the world.

For every fear I scrambled, I'd stay with it enough time to explore it, to accept it the way it is, and become aware that nothing should be wrong since everything is temporary.

I could immediately see the value in this method because a person with only rational fears can expand his potential at maximum. Are you going through hell right now? You were supposed to be there to get yourself a better position in life.

Nothing great comes from comfort.

When you're scared, dissect the fear until you reach the worst. When you see the worst, you should have no fear of doing the thing.

Let's talk about the ego

How many times did you have a conversation with a friend that turned into a persuasion war? Especially on politics, football, makeup products (I've got you ladies) or religion. Both of you have 2 different opinions and that's fine, or at least it should be fine.

But the ego turns on the competition state, where there should be a clear winner. And since unconsciously you agree to run this marathon, it implies a winner and a loser.

The inferiority complex talks further by itself. If any of you agree that the other is right, you're automatically losing, triggering the feeling of being inferior to the other person. It's a damned emotional chain.

The problem with the ego is its terrible negative impact it has on our social lives, which reflects into workspace, clients, friends, family, everywhere where you interact with another human.

If you cannot keep balanced when negatively challenged, you agree that the pain caused by your ego is lower than the pain of change.

A normal question would be how to respond to such situations, and the answer may sound too simple: don't engage in them. When someone starts a fire conversation, just don't step in his boat. Politely refuse to answer to anything, because it doesn't serve any of you.

Still.. Do you need a competitor to grow? Compete with yourself, and the game will end when your life will.

Letter's knowledge

Luck can strike you every day. If you're gripped and overwhelmed by fears and ego, not only you wouldn't see it, but even if you do, it would look too scary or too easy to be true to benefit from it.

Fears don't exist. They are just stories you've seen or heard from other people. If they are yours, it's from your past. You're not your past, you're living now. Leave them apart and go after the amazing things you want in life.

Ego can do both good and bad. It can filter people around you. You don't want egocentric people nearby, as they'll be unable to celebrate and support your way to success. It does bad when you're applying them to every single person.

Until the next letter, I wish you success in everything you're up to!