Seek Inside And Manifest Outside

Life can be a whirlwind, can't it? We navigate through our own set of challenges and struggles, trying to make sense of it all.

When we were kids, parents and teachers taught us what to do, and how to do it.

When we were teenagers, parents and entourage told us what to do, and how to do it.

The problem is that before we were told what to do, we were carefully taught to listen to others.

Nobody told us to look inside and just do what we are curious or enthusiastic about. We reach the final high-school year with one dilemma: What do I do in life?

Once the fear builds up, we pick something that would propel us towards a dream job. I see 2 issues with this statement.

Pick something - the sign we do not know ourselves good enough to go for exactly what we want
Dream job - I wouldn't link a job with a dream. If that job no longer exists, the dream gets vanished

Through dreams we get clarity, vision and motivation, but they shouldn't necessarily turn into reality. They should be more about our skills, standards, traits and behaviours. Things that only we have control over them. Say you're dreaming to become very good at negotiating; that's the kind of skill nobody can take from you.

Did you hear about this dream job? I work 1-2 hours every couple of days, and the rest is free-time.

It might sound relaxing, but looking the at long-term effects, I would stay away from it unless I really do something with that time.

Doing nothing quickly leads you to a plateau. Prolong this period and you'll forget even what you knew.

Looking back, I can identify a few common struggles I faced.

Feeling Stuck

I was trapped in the same old routine, day in and day out, with no end in sight. All I was doing was complaining about whatever came into my eyes or ears that scratched my insecurities.

Reacting is an emotional behaviour. By learning how to self control, you'll respond, not react, avoiding the stress.

The "routine" I am talking about consisted in this sequence:

I got negative input from the outside (friends, job, parents, traffic gem, etc.)
I complained about it
I started reacting:
- Directly to them, being aggressive or passive-aggressive
- I went smoking (before I quit it)
- I ate chocolate compulsively
- I watched social media compulsively
- I went for a glass of alcohol

Can you see my lack of knowledge and awareness of my values? Without self understanding and acceptance, I did what I was taught in childhood and adolescence: do what other common people do when they're stressed.

I was like running on autopilot, going after only what I already knew, without realising that the road was the same.

Autopilot is powerful if used to drive healthy behaviour.

Self-Doubting

Ah, that nagging voice in my head that whispered: "You're not good enough. You'll never make it."

Sounds familiar? Self-doubt can be a relentless adversary, eroding your confidence and holding you back from reaching your full potential.

Let it consume you, and you'll be paralyzed by fear, preventing you from taking the risks necessary to grow and evolve.

We were taught not to make mistakes. Do you remember that grade of 4 on an exam? Instead of thinking if you really feel bad about it, you were pointed out by colleagues and teachers. That could simply have not been your thing.

And perhaps your parents would avoid the subject with other parents, or even worse, ask about your best friend's grade, which was usually better.

Of course we got discouraged and afraid of trying out new things, as we wanted to avoid the negative impact if the thing doesn't go well.

Celebrate both wins and losses. Every battle is won because of your losses' learnings.

Craving for something more

Deep down, you know you're meant for greatness. You can feel it in your bones, this burning desire to break free from mediocrity.

It took me years to realise that not taking action to pursue those dreams and aspirations, keeps me stuck in the same place, wondering what could have been if..

You only know the known. The unknown's purpose is to push your limits further.

Seeking Validation from Others

Whether it's through likes on social media or approval from your close ones, you can't help but crave external validation to feel worthy.

This was and still is the norm. We crave for status offered by others. But that should only be used as motivation, whether it's positive or negative.

Otherwise, if you rely on external validation to define your self-worth, you'll forever be at the mercy of others' opinions, never truly feeling good with who you are.

How I keep myself connected

When building muscle, if you stop training, they start atrophying. This is a never-ending process, leading to a progressive growth. The same applies to the inner-connection.

On a daily basis, I practice at least 2 of these habits:

Write - whatever comes through my mind, to clarify fears and vision
Meditate - especially when in doubt, to truly feel what action do I want to take
Embrace bad moments - I positively look at the situation and analyze what can I learn from it
Gym workout - to balance both mind and body

The most important thing I did to get out of that trap was to remind myself to do things I find meaningful, no matter what others are saying; like this letter you're reading.

Letter's quest

Take a bit of time each day to connect with your inner self.

Set aside at least 10 minutes each day for introspection
Stare at an imaginary point on a wall
You are just an observer, not having the ability to judge
Practice mindfulness, to let your true thoughts and feelings come clear

Write down the most exciting thing. If that repeats in other days, it would be a clear sign for me to address it.

Until the next letter, I wish you success in everything you're up to!