Let Go Of Control

Control means power.

Power means stability.

Stability means peace of mind and soul.

This is the common pyramid taught since we were kids, to thrive for control and we'll be just great.

I don't deny the fact that I've chased that control almost my entire life, so I could finally reach that peace.

It all started with my physique, as I've been fat at 15, when I first stepped into the gym.

In a few years, I've lost 20kg, obtaining a good body, but it wasn't enough, I wanted more.

The next one was owning a car, so I could control how girls would perceive me and be more attractive, plus it would open the car clubs zone.

Thanks to my parents, they've struggled and bought me a Golf 5 in my second year of college. But it wasn't enough, I wanted more.

Another one was earning more money, as I started with a salary of €120 per month, full-time, night-shift.

Over the years, I jumped into many positions, earning a lot more by each jump, but it wasn't enough, I wanted more.

I guess you've got the point so far, I couldn't get enough of anything, as I didn't know how to have the peace with whatever life brings me to.

The first three sentences from the beginning are very wrong, and they are not even a pyramid. A pyramid is a very solid construction with a strong foundation that balances everything up to the top.

In that case, if you remove any of: control, power or stability, it means you'll lose the peace, which is dangerous. Besides, you cannot control the external factors.

There's a better way.

There are almost 3 years since I've started to explore the buddhist teachings and throughout this way I had mixed feelings:

• Sometimes it felt like it's all about living in poverty
• Sometimes it was exactly the piece of puzzle I needed to bring me to peace
• In the last period feels like a combination of having self control and peace, no matter the external factors

And this, is the very base of our true Pyramid that will build a fulfilling life: control yourself.

Never sell your soul for somebody else's dreams. Honour your own ones.

We cannot (and shouldn't) control anything but ourselves:

• How we feel
• What we eat
• Who do we hang out with
• The work we provide
• Books we read
• The ways we relax
• How grateful we are for simply being alive and having the ability to walk and enjoy the sky

These are things that matter the most, because they serve you even when hard and though times will come. Because they will come from time to time, since we don't have control over them.

Do you know why it's important to be able to control yourself? Because you will remain authentic no matter the circumstances, which leads you to have a clear vision of how to respond to external factors.

The worst thing we can do is reacting without control to something which we'll regret for.

The take away point is to let the exterior life be as is, and find your way through. Being happy only when you're in control of an external factor is a thin thread that often breaks.

I want to keep this letter short, so we'll address more subjects in the following letters to build the whole pyramid.

Letter's quest

Since we've touched the Pyramid base, self control, I would like to invite you to work through it for the next 7 days.

Pick one of these methods, or combined:

• Meditation
• Journaling
• Talk to yourself in the mirror, loud

Address these subjects:

• Express your gratitude
• Things and actions you can control
• Set a barrier between you and exterior
• Things you are good at
• Things you accomplished throughout your life
• Difficult times which you tackled down

These should provide you with pretty good confidence in yourself and improve your perception of self-worth. We are all good people, but need to be reminded of.

Until the next letter, I wish you success in everything you're up to.