Give Up On The Old To Make Space For The New

It's not the economy that keeps you short on money.

It's not the fast food restaurants making you overweight.

It's not the farmacy mafia keeping you medicine dependent.

It's not your place of birth responsible for your failures.

It's not your manager's fault because your friends earn more.

If you find yourself in one or more statements, we need to talk, and I will speak from my personal experience, as I've gone through all of them.

Throwing out all cards on the table from the beginning, you are responsible from A to Z for how your current life is.

Don't take it personally. I am here to actually help you find the root cause of your problems, not to baby-talk like many people are doing, barely touching the surface of the wounds.

That doesn't help, and to prove it, let's take some examples:

• You're right, economy is trash and too changing, it's difficult to fit in
• Certainly! You can barely find any healthy food, no wonder your weight
• I feel you, being born in a poor country makes freedom impossible

All right. Do you feel better reading that? Maybe better than reading you're responsible. But how does this help you?

It doesn't, because there is nothing left for you to do. You can just hope or pray for better times, better job, better relationship, better friends, better governance.

Every time you blame someone or something for your pain or suffering, they become even bigger.

Sure, you can do that, most people are doing it already, and I've done it myself. But I want more and better, I've had enough of hoping and praying.

Let me tell you something interesting about praying for the better. I've prayed so many times that I've lost hope in it, because although opportunities were coming, I was too afraid to benefit from them.

What was missing? The connection between the mind, the body and the soul. My mind had the power to command everything, and it knew only bad experiences, bad people, toxic relationships, being underpaid, being sick because of my Crohn's disease.

Every time a chance for the better emerged, the mind started to blow out my hopes reminding me how tough a rejection or a "no" feels like. Then, it made me 'pass' the chance, and wait for the next one.

And I did that for 27 years. Chance, after chance, after chance. When I suddenly woke up, looked at my life and realized I am in charge to build it, not anyone else.

Never wait on promises. Leave room for them, but live as they were not made. Once they're honored, they can be celebrated.

Yesterday I had a big revelation about how am I living the life in comparison to how was I approaching it in the past, and hopefully it will make sense for you.

In the past, I was thinking and sketching my future, which was dictating how to live the present.

Today, I'm living the present being aware and mindful, knowing that's going to build the future.

Rationally speaking, this sounds like the same thing. From a psychological and spiritual perspective, they are in opposition. One reflects that the mind is future-oriented and is running away from the present, while for the second statement, every present moment is crucial.

Educating your mind to stay present makes it aware of every action taken every single day.

Say you're eating too much or working a job you hate. Or even better, because you hate doing your job, you're overeating to compensate for the pain.

Your mind goes in the future:

• The manager will change
• I will lose the fat
• I will be more healthy
• I will change the company
• I will make more money

Or in the past:

• The previous manager was better
• I was looking amazing 5 years ago
• My health was great when I was younger
• I was more respected in the last company

And the days pass by, like they did for me for 27 years. This is the root cause, the mind keeps you away from the present, leaving no room for doing something new and different that is going to actually help you.

The way I see things is by focusing on every action you do, every word you say, every thought created and decide how it serves you. If it's going to put you down, use your mind as a trigger and change it.

• Blaming the manager -> seek for another team or job
• Overeating -> realise it's against your health and avoid it
• Will be healthy -> start exercising (free guide) and eat healthier
• Will make more money -> plan to learn something relevant every day

Replace every negative action or thought with a new and constructive one which you can do in the present.

You may ask 'all right, but why should I bother with all these changes in my life?'. Let's go through some of the benefits:

• You will see what owning and managing your life actually means
• Anxiety or depressive thoughts will vanish
• Self-growth will massively increase over time (these questions will help you)
• Reaching authenticity, you will become your kid's hero, instead of Superman

In the end, the freedom will eventually comes, when you'll enjoy every moment that life offers, because however it is, joyful or painful, will boost your awareness and life experience.

Letter's Quest

This is going to be a more detailed quest, because these are the steps I currently follow if I need to give up on something in favor of the better.

Identify what’s holding you back

In a mindfulness moment, identify one thing in your life that feels draining or harmful, whether it’s a habit, relationship, belief, or possession.

Your mind will tell you exactly what hurts the most. Reflect on why it’s hard to let go and what benefits you will gain by releasing it.

Observe and analyze the first step

What would be the smallest and immediate action you can take towards discarding, replacing, or altering it? You can journal or simply stay with the feelings that arise as you release it.

Replace with the better (and new)

Start one new activity, mindset, or relationship that excites you. It will be uncomfortable, but remember, the goal is to reach the threshold of feeling comfortable in uncomfortable situations.

Don't forget to track your new habits, which will make the transformation more easier and pleasant.

Balance Battle does just that. It will help you with getting your daily habits done and celebrate you for every tackled goal in a gamified way.

Until the next letter, I wish you success in everything you're up to!